Fruit Coffee Cake & Cobbler Recipes

These are some of my original fruit coffee cake & fruit cobbler recipes. I’ll be adding a few more types of cobbler as I figure them out.

UPDATE: I’ve added a recipe, & a photo, in case you end up with leftover coffee cake batter & a can of pears.

image

…Yes, that is the shape of a cock & balls, in profile, made out of raspberries, on top of a raspberry coffee cake.

Raptorette’s Fruit Coffee Cake

Coffee Cake Ingredients:
1 cup Country Crock (or 2 sticks Butter)
3/4 cup White Granulated Sugar
1 pinch Salt
1 Tsp Vanilla Extract
2 Eggs
1 cup Dairy (Milk, Yogurt, or Sour Cream)
3 cups All-Purpose Flour
1 Tbsp Baking Powder
1.5 cups/cans Fresh or Frozen Fruit (Suggestions: Peaches, Pears, Blackberries, Strawberries, Raspberries, or Blueberries)

Lazy Streusel Topping Ingredients:
1/4 cup Brown Sugar
1/4 cup Flour

Instructions:

1) Cream sugar & butter (or butter-like substance) together in a large mixing bowl, then add a pinch of salt & a teaspoon of vanilla extract.
2) Add the 2 eggs, then the cup of generic dairy product (milk, yogurt or sour cream) & combine thoroughly.
3) Pour in the 3 cups of flour, then add the baking soda. Mix together until batter is well blended.
4) Grease a round pie pan or similar size baking dish. Spread half of the batter along the bottom. Then, set aside a few pieces of fruit for a garnish, & drop the rest on top of the layer of batter. Pour the remaining batter into the dish, then take the fruit you just set aside, & place them on top of the coffee cake, in the center.
5) In a small bowl, combine 1/4 cup each of flour & brown sugar until only small lumps of the brown sugar remain intact. Sprinkle the mixture liberally over the whole coffee cake. If there’s not enough to thoroughly cover the surface, mix more flour & sugar. This topping is especially important when using sour, tart fruit, such as raspberries.
6) Bakeon the middle shelf for 45-60 minutes at 350 F, or until topping turns crispy & light brown around the edges, & a chopstick or butter knife inserted into the coffee cake comes out (mostly) clean. Let cool before devouring. Don’t put your dick in it. Even if you let it cool off first. Just don’t.

NOTE: If you have leftover coffee cake batter, but it’s not enough to make a second cake, you can make the following recipe:


Pear Cinnamon Squishy Tart

Spread the remaining batter in the bottom of a greased pie tin. Open a can of sliced pears, drain the liquid (or drink it, if you want) & cut each pear into 2-3 pieces. Spread the pears evenly over the batter. In another bowl, mix 2 Tbsp brown sugar, 1 Tbsp flour, & 1/2 Tsp cinnamon. Sprinkle liberally over the pears & batter, then bake at 350 F for 25-30 minutes.

Babs’ Decadent Fruit Coffee Cake with Lazy Streusel Topping & Icing

(This recipe is dedicated to my former step-grandmother, Babs; the only member of your family who wasn’t totally abusive towards me as a child. Thanks for being relatively less awful. & for the delicious coffee cakes you baked. Your horrible daughter always burned them when she tried.)

Coffee Cake Ingredients (Differences in Bold):
1 cup Country Crock (or 2 sticks Butter)
1/2 cup White Granulated Sugar
1 pinch Salt
1 Tsp Vanilla Extract
2 Eggs
1 cup Dairy (Milk, Yogurt, or Sour Cream)
3 cups All-Purpose Flour
1 Tbsp Baking Powder
1 cup/1 can Fruit (Suggestions: Peaches, Pears, Strawberries, Raspberries, or Blueberries)
1/2 jar Jam or Fruit Spread/Puree, same type of Fruit

Lazy Streusel Topping Ingredients:
1/4 cup Brown Sugar
1/4 cup Flour

Icing Ingredients:
1/2 cup Powdered Confectioner Sugar
2 Tsp Milk (or as needed)
1 Tsp Vanilla or Orange Extract

Instructions:

1) Cream sugar & butter (or butter-like substance) together in a large mixing bowl, then add a pinch of salt & a teaspoon of vanilla extract.
2) Add the 2 eggs, then the cup of generic dairy product (milk, yogurt or sour cream) & combine thoroughly.
3) Pour in the 3 cups of flour, then add the baking soda & powder. Mix together until batter is well blended.
4) Grease a round pie pan or similar size baking dish. Spread 1/2 the batter along the bottom. Then, set aside a few pieces of fruit, & place the rest on top of the layer of batter. Pour the remaining batter into the dish.
5) Spread a thin layer of jam or fruit puree over the batter. In a small bowl, combine 1/4 cup each of flour & brown sugar. Sprinkle the mixture liberally over the whole coffee cake. If there’s not enough to thoroughly cover the surface, mix more. Finally, take the pieces of fruit you set aside, & place them on top of the coffee cake, in the center.
6) Bake for 45-60 minutes at 350 F, until topping turns crispy & light brown around the edges, & a chopstick or butter knife inserted into the coffee cake comes out (mostly) clean. Let cool completely before devouring; hot jam can be kinda gross. Or not. Whatever you like.
7) Combine powdered sugar, milk, & vanilla or orange extract, then drizzle icing over the top of the coffee cake.

Easy as Pie Fruit Cobbler

Ingredients:
3 Tbsp Butter
1/2 cup Sugar
3/4 cup Milk
3/4 cup Flour
1 Tsp Baking Powder
1 pinch Salt
2 cups Fruit/Berries

Instructions:

1) Preheat oven to 350 F. Melt the butter in a large, shallow baking dish, then remove it from the oven.
2) In a large mixing bowl, combine all of the remaining ingredients, except for the fruit.
3) Pour the batter into the baking dish with the melted butter. DO NOT COMBINE, MIX, ETC. If you feel it absolutely necessary, you can stir it slightly to marble the butter & batter together.
4) Drop in the berries &/or pieces of fruit evenly throughout the batter. If you need more than 2 cups of fruit, use more. I like to add different fruits & berries in different sections, so there’s something for everybody.
5) Bake at 350 F for 40-45 minutes, then allow the cobbler to cool so the butter can solidify.
6) Devour.

Next Recipe:
Fruit Cobbler Crumble

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